Sunday, 22 January 2012

Checking In

Without getting into too much detail I had an awesome 2.5 hour conversation with a 'friend' earlier today which was well over due.

We talked about our relationship and where it was headed and how we were both feeling about it. He's been my person these past 7 months and I've relied on him so much for both emotional support and when we're together the sexual part of that as well that my feelings for him changed from just friends to wanting more.

We went through the motions of talking and seeing how each other felt and I'm grateful that while it was a difficult topic for me to bring up with him that he was able to really listen and just get a feel for how I was feeling about our situation.

I think as we both learn to 'let go' and sort of not really rely on each other as much as we do (well for me anyways) or talk as often as we do it'll help me to not get anymore emotionally involved than I already am.

Our relationship aside we're actually really great friends and I would hate to not have him in my life. Like I said he's been my person these past 7 months but I feel that if I want to 'let go' of the emotional part of our relationship I need to make room to let other people in emotionally and be able to lean on them and not just lean on him every single time. Of course it's going to be hard but right now for me emotionally it's the best thing I can do.

I'm so grateful with how understanding he was about it all and I'm really glad that I was able to tell him how I felt and not worry that he'd judge me or think I was a weirdo for having feelings for him.

All in all it was a great conversation and aside from our circumstances etc he's a really good guy!

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