Sometimes I think I do things without even thinking through the situation properly.
Did I do it because I didn't trust him?, because I do, with my life. Why did I feel I had to look for answers else where.
Whatever the outcome of all of this I would understand if he walked away. I would understand if he wanted less. If he felt I was too needy and expecting too much from him.
I'm sitting here thinking and wondering if I did it to sabotage the relationship? Am I worried of commitment? The relationship? Do I not trust myself? Or him?
I feel like I'm going insane wondering what to expect and trying to decipher what is going on in my head and my heart.
If only life was so simple and easy but then what kind of a challenge would that be.