My cousins Adam and Lani were visiting NZ a couple weeks ago since moving to Australia nearly a year ago and while here they stopped in to pick me up and away we went to the hot pools.
I'll admit it was hard to hang out with them. These were the 2 cousins who came to Auckland at least once a month to hang out with J and I playing buzz junior games till all hours of the morning. It was sad in a way to hang out with them and not have J there. It was as if something was missing from our 'foursome' that it wasn't really the same without J. I thought about him a few times while out with them.
Reminiscing over the fun things we all did together and the adventures we went on. It really was the four of us.
Adam and I caught up on all of the gossip. From family, food, work, boyfriends, lovers, dating and J everything really it's what we do.
It was hard talking about J and it still is hard to talk about him but I'm getting there and slowly learning to open up and push past it all. Slow and small steps. Seeing Dolly really helps and I'm grateful to have her as one of my people. She helps me to answer or ask myself questions I might not have thought of.
Things are slowly starting to look up for me and I'm trying to let go of the past and move on with my life. Work is great and keeps me busy. What more could I ask for right now?
I've got great friends, a family who have been supportive of me throughout the whole J situation. I've been adopted into 2 awesome families who help keep me somewhat sane and grounded when my own immediate family isn't here. Things really are great right now.
Then there is Milla who has been there for me year after year after year. She's my person and the one who at 4am wouldn't be surprised to receive a text from me. The one I always went to for advice, to complain too, share my secrets with and after all of these years it amazes me we still haven't met yet can still manage to tell each other everything. Weirdos. Lol.
On top of all of that I also have Martin. My best friend and my lover. He's been my other person these past several months and I don't know what I'd have done without him. I'm grateful to have him in my life and as we move on I look forward to seeing what happens in the future.
I love my life now bring on the rest of 2012!