Saturday, 4 January 2014


Tonight was a huge celebration of family birthdays farewells and mission calls. 
So much fun but it also made me realise 2 things. 1 being that its times like these I miss my actual family. Since J and I separated my family has consisted of strangers who took me in became friends with me and now who I call family and as much as I love them its not the same as having my immediate family here. At times I wonder could I move to Perth but I really am happy here in NZ I just miss my family.
The second thing it made me realise is that sometimes I actually miss the church.  Having not been in over 2 years I sometimes feel like I'm ready to go back but then there are days when I'm just not ready. Which also leads me back to my family.  They're not active anymore and more than anything I'd want to be able to go to church and know ok yip my family will be with me forever.  Of all the things the church has taught me its that family can be together forever and as much as I messed mine up with J I still think there is someone out there who is meant to be my forever. 
I had a great night and I'm so happy to have shared birthday celebrations for  Mel, Eva, Saul, Hellie and Aaron and also a farewell family dinner for Eva as she will be leaving to serve a mission in less than 10 days. I love you all and I'm so grateful to those who I once called strangers to say you are now family and sadly you're stuck with me. Eek. 

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