For those of you who read regularly you will know I've had my ups and downs when it comes to dating and relationships. From Jared to Martin, then along came Steve and mostly recently Joseph. I've had a fair few thrown in between the mix of that but most of it always ended up in heartbreak or something that just wasn't worth mentioning.
A couple months back I decided to give online dating another shot. As much as I didn't think I was ready to move on from the whole getting hurt time and time again the least I could do was give it a try.
There have been a few people here and there who send messages but nothing more has eventuated from it at least not until the last week and a bit.
I had received a message from a guy who seemed genuine and nice enough and his profile seemed to match the kind of person I'd consider dating. We spent the next few days after I guess trying to get to know one another which went awesomely and fantastically. As always I'm more careful with what I share because after everything I've been through why wouldn't I be more careful?
The last few days however have been a bit of a crazy roller coaster of emotions. We spent our Friday "arguing" it out about why I had not made plans to meet with him the previous night as I said I had plans which I did but they fell through. I didn't/don't get why he can't see where I'm coming from and I guess to him it doesn't make sense either. All I want is for him to go slow? Is it so hard to ask that of him and have him be ok with it all? Yes I get that it's probably crazy and weird but do you blame me after all of that bad crap that I've had to go through? I really do get where he's coming from and I don't blame him I just... I guess I struggle some.
I know not all guys are the same and it's not fair of me to expect some guy to just wait forever while I sort through my issues I just wish I didn't feel so confused or conflicted about it all. I'm not saying I won't give him a chance I just feel like it's a lets meet now get to know each other in person now or it's a nothing... I'm pretty sure it's not like that but it's how I feel.
Perhaps talking it out tonight will help. All I know is I can't wait for the day to be over so I can move past all the crap. Here is hoping the kids will make for a great afternoon of fun together.