Friday, 7 October 2016


Relationships of all kinds are always complicated.  There are so many things that could go wrong yet at the same time there are so many things that could go amazingly right. 

I think we all put ourselves out there and hope like hell that we don't get hurt or that we don't hurt someone we care about.  Unfortunately this isn't always the case.  Someone eventually is bound to be hurt whether intentional or not.

I know I've been on both ends of the equation.  I've hurt people and people have hurt me.  I always use to think (and I guess to some degree I still sort of believe it) that, for every time I'm hurt it makes up for the times I hurt people I cared about.  I know that's probably not true but when it's something that happens quite frequently it's hard not to believe it. 

I think one of my biggest down falls which I wouldn't stage is wearing my heart on my sleeve.  I'm a sucker for happily ever afters but at the same time I totally get that they only happen in fairytales and unfortunately my life isn't a fairytale. 

I've often wondered why I fall for or choose the people I do when it comes to building relationships.  I'm not just talking about a romantic relationship but friendships as well and trust me, I've had my fairshare of both. 

I remember seeing an article the other day about relationships and in it they discuss how we as humans are in need of validation and that a lot of relationships are formed more on the basis of emotional dependency than love. I can say for myself personally that's probably true.  I think I rely a lot on people for emotional dependency that to some degree it messes with my emotions.  It makes me see things differently than I normally would if I wasn't so emotionally invested into someone.  If I was to look back at the relationships or friendships that I've had most if not all would have been based on my need to want emotional dependency. 

I'm not saying it's a good or bad thing and I love that I'm aware that it happens and that I let it happen.  I just think that if I really want something more.  A different type of relationship/friendship with someone I need to go about it differently. 

If only life was simple and we could just have someone else make all the hard decisions for us things would be so much easier don't you think?

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