The one thing I've always loved about being here in Wellington (aside from it's Wellington) is that I don't have to worry about anyone or anything. It gives me time to think, to clear my head and get away from everything that is "my life". With what's been going on with MJ and as selfish as it is, I needed to get away and come to somewhere that was my comfortable. I needed familiarity and to be able to do nothing if I wanted and Wellington was the best place for that. It's honestly been one of the best things I could have done for myself these last couple of months.
I'm not expecting anything from Wellington but I wanted to be able to come away from this trip feeling good about where I'm at in my life. That the choices I'm choosing to make are the right ones for me. I needed to feel that I could take this time out from life and responsibilities and just focus on how I was feeling. That I could find the courage to get back into doing things that once reminded me of a person who meant so much to me. I needed this time. To spend a week doing absolutely nothing and not feel guilty for it.
It was the exact same thing with moving rooms. Before I flew out to Wellington I'd moved my things out of the back room and into the front room because I needed change. I needed some of that feng shui shit and I thought what better way to do it than to move to a new bedroom. I even got myself a free desk for studying at. My room and bed are super small BUT it's the little things that make all the difference right?
I really am feeling good. I moved rooms. I came away to Wellington and I nearly met up with someone for coffee. I'm feeling good about everything. I really do think that this trip helped me to just sit with my own thoughts and process them when I was ready and I think that's important. Wellington will always be my comfortable and that's okay.
School goes back in a few weeks and I feel like I'm ready to get back into it. I need proper routine and I need to start focusing more on myself which this trip really has helped me to do. I'm so glad I took this trip. Maybe it's one I need to take more often.